A Case of two-identities.

i've always felt like two person all at once...

ever since i've stepped foot here not too long ago, well i don't feel like i belong here at all.
the amount of changes are enormously overwhelming.
so from there came out the second persona, well really it comes sort of naturally, its a by-product of adaptation..

the cultural norms and such,

uhh i still dislike the strong question-statement ending accent that they always attach to at the end of the sentence...
not everyone does it annoyingly though,

the ones that do, always and usually are downright irritating to the core........
haha especially my chemistry teacher, and she talks loudly too, further enhancing the irritation....lol!

so to learn how everything worked, it was, and still is a task i definitely hated doing.
really, there is not a remedy for this but time...

i can't really talk normally like i do,
so there is the restriction therein itself...
uhh imagine the barrier....

A: what lah ! like that also can ?
B: uhh what the hell are you saying man ? is that a new language ?

so i envy those who are able to find others who are from the same country...
country mates eh...

well i guess i learn more too this way...

The September breeze, leaves falling and subsequently rotting on the ground
the supposedly "fall" season isn't here yet.
still, the sun is shining as if it is still summer..

sigh, anyway we need the vitamin A.

i realize that this year is not as stressful as the last during this particular time,
maybe its adaptation, maybe its my new-found nonchalant attitude towards most things,
okay,no its not new-found... i am always like that...


with the talk of University in one of my classes, i am starting to get wandering thoughts scaring the **** out of me..
not that i am gonna change my mind of ever entering, but the what if statements are clouding the future i seem to envision previously...

what if, no-one is going to accept me..?
what if, i do not qualify ?
what if, i lose my interest halfway and quit...

so many so many....
i can't afford to slack away anymore, i can't afford to be in a state of ignorance..

i cannot betray anyone's expectations...especially my parents..

hah and this is how i feel after starting the school year..